I wonder how much money it cost to ferry the PM over to Afghan and then protect him whilst he was there? I bet he didn't go for a joyride in a "Snatch Landrover" whilst he was there! Bloody pathetic, they could have used the money it took to get the PM on telly and spent it on "live rounds", as the press reported this week that our troops are being denied live ammo to train with, because a live round costs 30p and blanks are only 10p. Maybe a cheaper option would be to send the Warmington on Sea Home Guard to Afghan. They could attack the Taliban shouting "BANG 123, BANG 123 your dead". Think how much "in real terms" the Government would save on that little exercise!
I noticed a new "Game Show" advertised recently, sponsored by NU LABOUR and set to challenge the X Factor. It's Called "ASYLUM" and the pilot has been running for a few years in the UK, don't miss it. I gather the BBC have sold the rights to AL Jazera TV for an undisclosed sum....
Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of
'ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
and win
A COUNCIL HOUSE!
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The British Taxpayer.
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone
buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.
No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gatewa y at Stansted where 20 local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain .
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.
It won't cost you a penny.
It could change your life forever.
So play today.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...
COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the airport!
Get along to the lorry park!
Get along to the ferry terminal!
Don't stop in Germany or France !
Go straight to Britain
And you are:
GUARANTEED
to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'
FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW
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